


Break Down

by WarnerHedgehog



Series: A Showbiz Conspiracy. [1]
Category: Milton Jones - Fandom, Mock the Week RPF
Genre: Comedians, Gen, Panel show, Producers, Thing - Freeform, Tv comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-07-16 20:54:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7284394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WarnerHedgehog/pseuds/WarnerHedgehog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What might happen when filming comedy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Break Down

Dara looked into the camera, grinned and announced, "Now we come to If This is the Answer, What is the Question? There are six categories to choose from: Milton, what would you like?  
Milton started to say "sport" but his speech suddenly slowed down as if his batteries had gone flat. Much to everyone's surprise he slumped forward with a creak and even more surprisingly, a panel on the side of his head opened, allowing a small imp to peek out. "Sorry, guys: power's completely gone. Dunno what's wrong, only had him serviced last week." It moaned.  
"Oh not again." whinged Russell Howard, "It's bloody Frankie all over again. It took them months to get him restarted and even then he needed a beard battery."  
Hugh poked the inactive comedian, "Are we paying too much for our comedian insurance?" He quipped, generating a series of groans from the entire studio.  
"Do we have a spare panelist?" Dara asked as a couple of technicians came on and started to fiddle about with the powerless Milton. A producer walked over carrying a small flying machine, which he held up so the imp could climb in.  
"Cheers Al." Chirped the imp as it powered the machine up and flew off.  
"No worries Larry" replied Al.  
Meanwhile another technician had brought in a sack truck which the techno team then started to load Milton on to.  
While the techs were fiddling with the knackered comic, Chris Addison grinned, took up an upright position and seemingly paused as a hatch on the side of his head opened and his imp leaned out and lit a cigarette, "Last time this happened, we were hanging about for bloody hours." It commented.  
About ten minutes after wheeling the dead comic off, Al the producer walked in holding a clipboard, "Right. We're out of Miltons, but we do have a Stewart Francis and a slightly dusty Gary Delaney. If you don't want puns there's an Adam Hills or if that's too tall for you we have a Lucy Porter in green. We also seem to have three David Mitchells, a pink shirted Greg Davies and a couple of spare Andys. I'm pretty sure we have an old Frankie Boyle somewhere, but it hasn't been touched for years."  
Dara pondered for a bit and said, "We'll keep with the pun theme and go for the dusty Delaney. Just make sure this one works please"  
"Gary it is. Hang on a mo." Al picked a walkie talkie from his belt and spoke into it, "Jim, they want the Delaney. Dust him off and get him up here."  
After another five minutes the technicians returned with Gary the new panelist, installed another imp and recordIng started again.  
Milton was sent back to the factory he was made in and underwent a full refurbishment.  
The imp insisted on brighter shirts, bigger hair and a pay rise.


End file.
